Its been awhile since I've posted-lots of dramas and life challenges, plus my priority has been finishing my book which I am happy to say I finally have! Am currently on the hunt for publication. Keeping fingers and toes crossed.
As the end of the decade is upon us, I wanted to share some personal reflections on this past decade.
I don’t know about you, but I am reeling ever so slightly about the end of the decade that is upon us.
And what a tumultuous decade it has been! Pregnancy, babyloss, breast cancer, my Dad’s death, to name a few of my personal heartaches and challenges.
I have experienced some of the most difficult personal trials, endured some of the most gut-wrenching heartbreaks imaginable.
And I have also achieved some truly wonderful things for which I am enormously proud.
And out of this has come lesson upon lesson upon lesson about surrender and humility.
I am someone who appreciates the preciousness of life. But now it’s almost like I know this in a whole new way.
Because that’s what life is about. As life evolves and unfolds, so too do we evolve.
Anybody who tells you it’s all about the silver lining when life gets tough, really lives some place where bad stuff washes over them. Often someone like this has not met grief; they have not lost a significant loved one or experienced multiple losses; or they live in a kind of a disconnect. Which is not in itself negative. Only the preaching and the judgement is negative. Right now, Australia is ravaged by a particularly nasty fire season. Finding a silver lining here is just naïve. Not to mention insulting to the lives lost, lives destroyed, and the countless animals killed by the fires.
But this is the thing. This is what I have learnt. Repeatedly. Life is about the good but also the bad. Life is about the blessings but also the challenges. Life is about love but there can’t be love without loss. And loss causes indescribable pain. And pain is as much a part of life as joy. Once we understand this bit, then we have the keys to unlock doors to peace. Peace may be fleeting. It may be rocky. But it can be life-sustaining when we need help to get us through our days.
My uncle is in hospital battling stomach cancer. A dear family friend went into palliative care in late November. When the doctors said it wasn’t cancer, we all breathed a sigh of relief.
But she deteriorated and died anyway! It took us all by surprise. We barely had time to say goodbye.
Not two days from her passing, Mum is rushed to hospital in an ambulance, and my first sighting of a Christmas tree for the season is in the ED. Not what I had planned for the end of the year. My heart broken. My fears rampant. Stress levels through the roof.
But there it was. Once again. The lessons. Cherish the precious moments, for our time on earth is fleeting. This is what the universe keeps showing me time and time again.
So as I contemplate the enormous emotional journey that this decade has taken me on, I see the messiness that life is and know that, going forward, I can expect the bad mixed in with the good. Life can never be conquered or mastered, and we can never figure it out beyond these simple truths. And the awareness of that simplicity is the gift of the lessons this decade has shared.
May this New Year bring you wonderful blessings!
©SK Reid 2019