The October Series
October is a tough month for me - International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the month my beloved cousin took her life, and the month Dad died. Interesting that today is World Mental Health Awareness Day - because this month is trigger-laden for me: tears for no reason, incredible depression, feeling really really low. But I also know that its no surprise.
And so I'm sharing with you - not for a vote of sympathy (although compassion is always welcome) but rather to walk the difficult path in sharing difficult subject matter so as to raise awareness for some of these issues. Particularly the impact things like grief or health challenges can have on our mental health. Hopefully in writing about them, we can keep the conversation going.
I'm reposting the October Series from a few years back from Blogger, beginning with a lullaby for our little baby - Joshua would have turned 3 this October.
Lullaby
Hey little man
You were supposed to be here today
Today was going to be the day that we were to meet for the first time
We were going to welcome you into this world, out from the safety of darkness into the harsh light of day.
Your first breath
Your first day
Very first day
Today
I was going to hold you for the first time.
The very first time
Look into your eyes
Take your tiny hand in mine
Soft touch of your skin on my face
Your hand in mine
Today
We were to start our journey of some little life together
Our bundle of joy
Your hand in mine
Your tiny little hand in mine
Hey little man
You are held gently in all of our hearts
You are here in my heart
My heart holding yours
In mine
My heart bleeds
I will never look into your precious little eyes
But my eyes will see
For both of us
Rivers flowing wild, cool and free
Mountains reaching for the sky
Birds soaring high on a light summers breeze
Without you
By my side
And I will sing you a lullaby, little man
Mama will sing you a lullaby
Hush now
Sleep now
Sleep
My little man
Sweet, sweet, little man
My sweet, dead little man.